77 Things

52 e-mails to answer.

20 parent-teacher conferences for which to prepare.

5 stations to plan.

2 kids not to forget.


Tonight as I hoisted Bubba out of the tub, we had the exact same routine as we always do at the end of bath.  I shake him off over the tub, plop him on the fuzzy blue carpet, and rush to wrap him up before he tries to hug me to get warm.  Then he says, “Jump? Jump!” begging me to hold out my hands so he can jump higher and faster.  I don’t know what it is about the towel and the carpet, but together they make the most perfect condition for jumping in his little mind.

And then it struck me.  He won’t always be almost two and needing a hand to jump after bath time.  I won’t always wrap him up and call him “Taco” as I throw him on the bed and shower him with kisses.  Before I blink he’ll be five, getting himself out of the tub, and waiting for me snug under the covers.  And when he’s five or nine or twenty-five, will I remember the jumping and the taco?  No.  I most certainly won’t.  Not unless I write it down.

So though I have 77 things to do, I decided this must happen too.  First.  I must remember to remember.

*Remember that Bubba says that he and Daddy visit Beepo Home.  You know?  Home Depot, of course.

*Remember that nine times out of ten, if Jay picks Chica up from school instead of having her ride the bus, they go get ice cream.

*Remember that Bubba will always prefer anything on my plate over anything on his.

*Remember that Chica couldn’t quite grasp the idea of the school fundraiser.  All week she’s been talking about creating things to sell so that she could meet her 3 item goal.  No matter how many times I try to explain that we are to sell the stuff in the catalog, she just doesn’t get it.  I’m just rolling with it at this point.

*Remember that Bubba’s internal alarm clock sends him into our room nearly every day at 4:55.  We mindlessly lift him up and into the warm spot between us.  We press snooze, and usually get at least 15 more minutes of sleep for all of us.  Then it


*Remember that since Bubba’s internal alarm clock wakes us all up at 4:55 and again at 5:10, that we are tired.  So tired that when I try to write a blog post, I fall asleep mid-sentence.   And in the morning I have no idea what I was going to write next.

*Remember that falling asleep mid-sentence means that not even one of the 77 things got started.  But I’ve decided that being well rested is probably worth more than accomplishing 77 things and being grouchy.  Oh….and I got 5 of those things done in the shower this morning. Only 72 to go.


Dog Food (Or Why Not to Joke With an Almost Two Year Old)

About a week ago….
Jay:  Bubba….what do you want for breakfast?
Bubba:  No.
Jay:  Do you want Frosted Flakes?
Bubba:  No.
Jay:  Cheerios?
Bubba:  No.
Jay:  A bar?
Bubba:  NO.
Jay:  Dog food?
Bubba:  Yeah.
Jay:  ???
Bubba:  Dog foooood.  Bubba want dog food.
Jay:  Bubba, you can’t have dog food.
Bubba:  Doooooog fooooood.  Bubba want dog food.
Jay:  Bubba, Daddy was joking.  We don’t even have any dog food.  Let’s have a bar.
Great, dramatic tantrum ensues on the floor.  Whining, tears, kicking, etc.

The dog food has been brought up at least twice since that day, once by Daddy, once by Bubba.  Seems that neither of them has learned.

This morning…
Jay:  Bubba, what do you want for breakfast?
Bubba:  (Some inaudible whisper.)
Jay:  What Bubba?  What do you want for breakfast?
Bubba:  (Same inaudible whisper.)
Jay:  Bubba, I can’t hear you.  Tell Daddy what you want.
Bubba:  (This time in a barely audible whisper)….dog food.
Jay:  !!!

Jay:  Ok, Bubba, how about a dog food bar?
Bubba:  Yea!

Something tells me we’ll be eating dog food bars for quite a while in our house.

Ten Things I Didn’t Learn As An Education Major

  1. How to gently break it to your husband that you won’t be home for any Thursday night in October.
  2. How to carefully craft an e-mail to a parent over a very awkward situation.
  3. How to tactfully avoid giving out your cell phone number.
  4. How to locate the source of a bad smell in your classroom…and also deal with that tactfully!
  5. How to find a balance between appropriate caution and unnecessary fear while discussing a lockdown drill.
  6. How to forgive your students and start fresh.  Every. Single. Day.
  7. How to catch a bully when you never see it happening.
  8. How to teach a line of students to stop in the hall on their own in order to let an adult pass.
  9. How to balance the needs of 53 little people with the responsibility of the two that actually belong to you.
  10. How to comfort a student that suddenly lost her father over the weekend…all while teaching the other 52 to do the same.

Christ, have mercy.