On the Dresser

Today I found a pair of shoes I have been missing for months. They were on my dresser. Not in, not under. On.

What I really want to write about is my friend who is living her last few days or weeks. But all of the thoughts are still a little too blurry to go from my heart to words to my fingers. So echoing my friend, Cheryl’s post, I’ll carry on with the everyday, like finding shoes. But every other thought is elsewhere. Here, but not really here.

So the shoes. Let me just announce to the world that the Proffitt family has broken some kind of world house record. Way back here I gave my expert advice on binge house cleaning. Well whadaya know? I’ve realized binging is not especially good for my health, and I’ve started a more balanced diet of straightening and putting away. I do know that a true habit takes an average of at least three weeks to form (I’m only 17 or 18 days in), and I could fall off the bandwagon at any point. But this is a real record, folks. This house has been straight (I’m not claiming clean) for over two weeks. Be amazed.

So today when I had an extra hour to myself, guess what I chose to do? Clean! I know, right…I hardly believe myself either. I decided to tackle those last few spots I’ve been putting off. The top of my dresser was definitely one of them. Mostly because the pile was starting to remind me of a Jenga game. I halfway expected the whole thing to collapse around me if I pulled out the wrong object at the wrong time.

Thankfully, I avoided the collapse and uncovered a whole host of treasures in the process. Remember how I kept an inventory of Chica’s bed here? Yep, she’s definitely my kid. I didn’t make a list of every single item, but here’s a few of the best: the missing brown shoes (yay!), an anniversary card I wrote Jay over a year ago, a gift I got at a wedding shower thrown by college friends (Sorry Ayn….lost track), an unwrapped McDonald’s toy, lots of clothes that are now too small for my kids (that have been there since they fit, no doubt), and a Starbucks gift card. Score.

Wanna know a secret? Most days I feel like I’m just playing at this whole adult thing. I know, I should be way past that stage, but I just keep waiting for that day when I actually feel like a grown-up grownup. But there are a few things that make me feel more like an adult. Keeping my house straight, making new traditions, and *considering* keeping a calendar, for example.

Oh…that, and figuring out the dental assistant walking me to the right room was a former student of mine. In fifth grade. Yikes.

So here I am right back where I started. Here, but also there wondering about growing up and grief and how to help my sweet little family process something so hard.

We love you, Sharon!


15 thoughts on “On the Dresser

  1. Great video, Tracy. What a lovely tribute…I am sure she is blessed by it. Thanks to you and R.S. Payne for reminding her how very loved she is!

  2. My heart is in the same place Tracey. I can’t think of anything but…. Your video is amazing and maybe one day we may all be grown- up. But for now let’s just pretend!!!

  3. My father says “life begins at 30”. I didn’t want to discount what has already past. However, Tolkien had hobbits becoming adults at 30. If we consider becoming adults at 30, instead of 18, then we still have a while for grown up things to settle in.

  4. Rich and I felt ‘old’ for the first time when I was pregnant with Rachel. We were interviewing pediatricians, and as we spoke with one doctor, he and Rich realized they had both attended the same high school but 3 years apart. We dug out Rich’s senior yearbook and flipped through the freshmen photos until we found Dr. Grosso. He looked only a little bit younger in high school than he did during our interview. By the time my girls left his practice, he finally had (some) grey hair and looked like the father of 2 that he was.

  5. Love reading your blog. You are such a talented writer along with many other things. We are a richer family having you as a part of it. Don’t worry about growing up just worry about growing in faith, the rest falls into place. Thank you and your husband for putting the video togther so quickly for us and for taking it to Sharon for us. She is leaving knowing that she is loved by many and has touched the lives of countless people. She deserves the send off. We will catch up with her on the otherside. 🙂

  6. Pingback: I Make Lists | chica and bubba

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