A Letter to Myself on October 14th, 2012:
By now the newness of the school year has worn off, and the routine, as much as you will ever create, has set in. I see you have a bag of papers that you carry home every night intending to grade, but you haven’t cracked it open in a while. I notice the laundry pile mountain in the basement that isn’t getting any smaller on its own. And let’s not even talk about the condition of the kitchen floor…yikes.
I know each of those things feels really heavy, and there’s no time to fix them in sight. Instead you just ride the current of busyness mixed with exhaustion, hoping not to fall out of the boat. Well, it’s time to catch an eddy.
‘Member last summer when you went whitewater rafting with Taylor? Your guide explained that large rocks in the river naturally create a calm spot right behind them where we would periodically regroup before heading back out to face the rapids. He would purposely maneuver the boat into this spot, an eddy, so that everyone could readjust their feet, wipe the water out of their eyes, and just take a breath. Well, it’s time to do that.
Yes, the papers and the laundry and the floors are important, but your family is more important. I think you were just beginning to grasp the reality of that in the summer. Have you talked to Jay lately? I’m not talking about the last five minutes before you both fall asleep on the couch. I mean a real conversation. How about Chica? Have you noticed the ways she’s changed since starting school? And Bubba. By now I suppose he is walking. Are you taking lots of pictures and videos of his wobbly self so that one month from now, when he’s running, you’ll remember what it looked like when he first learned?
And while you’re sitting here in the eddy, what about yourself? Have you figured out a way to have some being still and quiet time? Some listening time? I’m sure the rapids ahead would be a little less likely to throw you overboard if you would.
Image: Rafting on the Paro Chhu © Northwest Rafting Company | Flickr Creative Commons